When You Evolve Everything Must Change: Jessica Patel | Quinntessential Questions #75

How long has it been since we've physically seen each other? Do you reckon? >> I think it's been near enough 28, 30 years. I've been working in finance for about 50 or so years in particularly in financial crime risk. That was my career for pretty much most of my, you know, adult life. And um I kind of quit that um in England and then came out to Dubai hoping to do the same thing and then slowly realized that actually doesn't really sit well with me or it wasn't really working for me. It just wasn't it wasn't aligning with who I was at the time cuz I'd changed and you know >> you evolved. I did a bit of work on myself and then I realized that actually what I really enjoyed throughout my career and that's prior to financial crime um was the coaching that was the part that actually really sparked joy. I didn't h I didn't have a plan but I was like this is where I need to be. >> Amazing lot again a lot of courage. Now then tell us about the journey becoming an entrepreneur because it's the next step. >> I saw Dubai with a different lens. Yeah, >> you know, cuz I changed as a person, so I didn't see as >> Jess. Good morning. >> Good morning. >> How are you? >> Really well, thank you. >> How long has it been since we've physically seen each other, do you reckon? >> I think it's been near enough. 28, 30 years. >> That's for >> It's got to be around that much cuz if you moved away, what? >> I'm 01. Sorry. So >> 26 years. Yeah. I would say it's >> it's crazy >> cuz we went separate ways in terms of like colleges and >> Where did you go? >> I went to wheels. >> Yeah, I went to Green. There you go. >> And then I went to Real Second year. >> Oh, did you? >> Yeah. Help. >> Just cuz I fancied checking all the colleges out. >> But Wheel would have been a nightmare to get to. >> It wasn't too bad actually. >> Why did you drive? >> No. >> Yeah, I was going to say like a couple of buses. >> No, it was one bus. >> Really? H12. >> H12. See, I remember all the buses. Isn't that weird? I remember the bus. I hate getting the bus. >> I hate getting the bus. >> Yeah. So, I always say to people um like when they they say, "I haven't got any job opportunity." I said, "Come like the buses." They're all You'll wait for ages, nothing, and then free will come at the same time. >> Yeah. >> You know what I mean? >> Exactly. >> Um so, look, for my audience members that may not know you, just can you just give a quick intro and then we're going to delve into what you're doing now and what our history is and where you came from. >> Sure. So I'm Jessica Patel. I've been working in finance for about 50 or so years and particularly in financial crime risk compliance. >> Okay. >> Which sounds really, you know, serious. >> Um and it is, but um yeah, it's it's interesting. It keeps you on your toes. You get to do >> kind of the same thing but for different financial institutions. Okay. So all your banks, high street banks, uh investment banks, etc. >> So that was my career for pretty much most of my, you know, adult life. And um I kind of quit that um in England and then came out to Dubai hoping to do the same thing and then slowly realized that actually it doesn't really sit well with me or it wasn't really working for me. >> Um and I didn't really want to do it. So I was scared for roles without intentionally wanting the roles because I thought I had to go >> with my last 15 years. >> It's a good point. >> Um and I got some advice from people saying start out in that you know sector. Um and then you know you can you can move out of that once you're settled in a role etc. Um, so then I thought, okay, went along with it and then I was like, it just wasn't it wasn't aligning with who I was at the time cuz I'd changed. And you know, >> you evolved. >> I evolved and it was like, oh, I don't know if this sits right with me anymore. So then I went into I did a bit of work on myself and then I realized that actually what I really enjoyed throughout my career and that's prior to financial crime um was the coaching cuz I'd mentored I'd uh career counseledled um you know I'd done the graduate schemes >> and that was the part that actually really sparked joy as Marie Condo would say. Right. >> Yeah. So I thought, well, maybe I can do that instead. And look, I know everyone's a coach, >> but there's plenty for everyone%, >> you know, people signing up to me and who I am >> and how I speak to people, >> how I conduct myself >> and, you know, in the spirit of woo vibes and energy. >> Yeah. Right. >> 100%. I want to listen. I'm I'm so happy for you and so proud of you because actually one of the key things that people don't realize is it's never too late. Not that we're that old, but you know, most people think, "Oh, you know, I'm 35. I can't do it." I said, "No, >> no, no. >> You can you can move and, you know, live abroad and whatnot." But later on, I want to unpack like how you decided to because becoming an entrepreneur, moving location at the same time, it's it's like a lot all at the same time. Let's go back, right? So, so were you born in Harrow? >> I was not. >> Neither was I. Go on. Where were you? >> I was born in Northamptonshire, actually. >> Really? >> Yeah. >> Tell us the story. >> Village called Wellingborough. >> Okay. >> Um, that was many years ago. It was when the snow used to be yay high. And uh, yeah, it was it was a a small like town, I would say, more so. Um and a lot of my dad's family lived there. >> Where were you where your mom and dad from the >> So mom and dad uh mom's from India as in born raised in India. >> Okay. >> Uh and my dad was born and raised in Nairobi, Kenya. >> Wow. >> Yeah. >> I knew I remember I remember that. >> Yeah. >> Have you been to Kenya? >> I haven't. >> You got to go. >> I know. >> I went just over a year ago. It's just one It's I think it might be the best trip that we've ever been on as a family. >> It's amazing. >> I would love to go and I have said to my dad, I really want to go. So, >> it's when he feels like he wants to go, right? >> Yeah. >> Cuz that would be a great trans. >> Has he been back? >> He's been back, I think, many years ago. He hasn't been for at least 20 years. >> Yeah. >> From what I remember, it's been about 20 years. >> Yeah. Cuz I I love people's history, where they come from, because it's different. >> Absolutely. I mean, my parents, they're both Indian, but they're very different in personalities, the way they do things, etc. It's very different. >> So, they met in the UK. >> They met in India. My dad went to India. >> Really? Yeah. Did they have an they didn't have an arranged marriage? >> It wasn't an arranged marriage. It was more like back in them days it was they were introduced to one another. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Um and yeah, they kind of dated chaperoned with my mom's cousin and his >> um now well wife um they kind of had a >> double dating kind of scenario. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> But it was like 3 months. So it's very condensed. >> Wow. >> 3 months of dating and then from the back of that they decided yeah they'll get married. >> You know um it's funny like I I was born and raised in South >> South. I never knew that. >> Yeah. And on my So I lived there until about 11 and a half. >> And the street that I lived on had about it had 110 houses on it. There were only two non-br families. Yeah. A Jamaican family in my family. >> And we I always went to school in Harrow cuz my mom worked for the London bar of Harrow. >> Yeah. >> And but we could she couldn't get me into a regular school there because we weren't residents of Harrow. And then she sent me they sent me to a private school, Alpha School >> in Harrow, which is ridiculously expensive. >> Yeah. >> And I didn't like it. and they pulled me out and I don't know how but they got me into Norbury which was which is the it was a wonderful first middle school. So then what happened? When did you guys leave Northampton Shield and come to >> So I was around 7 years old. >> Okay. >> Uh we moved to Harrow and >> which primary school did you go to? >> I went to Graange. >> Ah okay. All right. I like actually Granger was a good school. Had a lot of >> It was a good school. >> So you grew up did you did you know Martin Balm? Well >> I did. >> Yeah. You know, he and I are still very good friends. Really? Yeah. So, like when my mom died, he's so sweet cuz he lives in the US now. >> He actually said, "Can I come over for the funeral?" And I was really touched >> and I actually said, "Is if it's okay, I'd rather you didn't come just because I'm not going to be in head space and I feel >> compelled to spend time with you." >> Um, but every time I go back to the US, I'll go and see him and stuff. >> Amazing. I love that. >> Yeah. He had a hard time cuz he moved from pillar to post and he he'd suffered a lot from bullying >> and in high school as well. And it was just like it was weird how certain kids got picked on. >> Yeah. >> And it was it it always made me sad. Do you know what I mean? So Graange, did you have a good time with Graange? >> I did. I think um I made some really good friends there. I'm still in touch with a few. >> Um mostly through Facebook, right? >> Um the thing is people cuss it, but the reality is we're here today because of Facebook. Absolutely. >> You know, >> and that's the reason why I keep my Facebook cuz a lot of people come off Facebook. >> Yeah. >> Like, oh, I don't I don't resonate with it anymore. >> But when you live abroad, you feel a little bit plugged in because of it. >> And also family as well. >> Yeah. >> A lot of family are on Facebook. >> So, >> especially the older generation, right? >> Absolutely. >> So, it's really nice. I mean, I don't have my uncles on there, but >> they don't need to see what I'm up to. But >> Well, you do it. You You used to party hard. So did I. But like as we get older, we we're a bit more relaxed and >> Exactly. >> Clever. So what So tell me about high school. Which form class were you in? >> Mr. Barretts, >> were you? >> Yeah. >> So who were who were some of your closest friends in in your form class? >> So I had me Johnara now. Arjan. >> Is she Is she still back home? >> Yeah. >> She's in London. >> Yeah. >> Okay. >> Um and >> she's a very nice girl. I remember her. >> Yeah. And uh Angelie Jila. >> Yeah. How's she? >> Yeah. What's she doing? >> I'm not sure. I haven't seen her in a while, but as in I know I hear from from meter cuz me is very close with her, but >> yeah, we've we've seen each other through the years maybe once in a blue moon. >> Yeah. >> Um but I think she's doing well. And uh who else do I still chat to? I don't think there's anyone else from my glass. >> Yeah. And then from the year >> from the year, I don't know if I even speak to anyone else from the year. >> It's funny. I was >> It's funny because you kind of all grow like go into different areas or whatever it may be, but um >> if you bump into someone, you always >> Well, I never go back to Harold, but what's weird is I was telling my my 17-year-old daughter the other day that, you know, you you have to be invested in your relationships. I said when I when I turned 16, my mom and dad took me and my best friends out and it was Ian Canaratney, Coutura Gordon and and Richard Osborne >> and I'm not really in contact with any of them that much. >> No, really. That's a shame. >> Yeah. And it's just it's just um it it just happens, >> you know, and I think but I do think friendships a two-way street. You have to absolutely, >> you know, like so Dwayne was over uh >> earlier this year. >> Yeah. and I hadn't seen him for a bit, but to his credit, every time I go back to the UK, he comes out and um I just I'm just grateful. So, whenever the problem is when I go back, which is once every 2 or 3 years, >> I'll arrange for 30 or 40 people to come out. >> Mhm. >> And everyone tries to get me drunk. Yeah. >> And then you don't really get time with people. But that's the problem. You've only got two days, three days. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. So, so you know, we were talking off camera and I said to a lot of people that I know that went to high school actually didn't enjoy it. Some some people, some of the girls that I know were bullied and then it made me sad cuz I didn't realize that cuz if I had known that I would have tried to do something about it. How was your high school experience? >> I think I kind of stayed under the radar a lot to be honest. >> Well, we always knew each other. >> Two shoes at the beginning of high school. >> Really? >> Yeah. Cuz I came from Graange. >> Yeah. did really good at like you know really well there because I because of the friends that I was around had a mixture of friends I'll be honest. >> Yeah. >> Um Kerry Goss was my really good friend in primary school. >> I went out with Kerry. >> Did you? >> Yeah. I should be saying >> didn't you? >> I went out with it. I worked out I went out with 14% of the girls in the year. >> I think you probably did. That's what I remember. >> She was but she's a lovely girl. >> She's super lovely. like we, you know, >> we might exchange a message on Facebook. Haven't seen her, but yeah, I see she's in touch with a lot of the school friends as well. >> So, it's nice to see that actually because you kind of see everyone's >> you feel connected a little bit. >> Connected a little bit cuz you see everyone's pictures. They're still getting together and it's nice to see. Um, and then when I went to high school, I obviously made friends with I used to be friends with uh Casual Patel in primary school and Sonia Patel cuz they used to live opposite one one another. >> I always call her Red Sonia. >> Red S >> cuz of the movie. >> And she she came to my wedding, >> did she? >> Yeah. >> Oh, amazing. >> Yeah, cuz she was she was dating one of my best friends >> and they came to Bali and then she was in Singapore for uh coincidentally for my 40th. So she came for my 40th and um and then when I was last in Dubai, we had dinner together. >> That's lovely. I reconnected with her actually in Dubai. >> Yeah. >> So um I met up with her >> and then I went to a leaving drink. >> I was like, was it something I said? >> But she's she's a real character. She's a go-getter, >> you know, and she she they move they moved to Dubai together, but then she stayed >> the full course. >> Yeah. >> You know, so that's so cool, isn't it? >> Yeah. Really nice. What what were your what's your memory of me from high school? >> Can I say it on camera? >> You can say we can always we can always delete it. You can always delete it. >> It wasn't that bad, actually. I just thought that you were always very friendly. You talked to everyone. >> That's what I feel. >> Yeah. >> Um always a really nice guy. >> And you dated a lot of girls. >> Yeah, that's that's >> You're always around the girls. >> Yeah, I was. I don't know why. I just uh >> you know, >> sorry, Mrs. Quinn. >> She knows that. But you know what's really what's really weird is like um people are still to this day don't believe it. I'm an introvert and I am naturally very shy. >> Right. >> Right. But it no one thinks it. But I I learned to become extroverted in those moments and maybe because of my job kind of like you, you know, you meet so many people like yesterday I think I had seven or eight meetings. >> Right. >> And I was like I was just depleted. So, we went out for dinner and it was like it was just we went to Cheesecake Factory and we were just chill there. We just we had a good time. It was huge. Um but but I' I've learned that you got to be honest with yourself. But I don't know why I I just really loved high school. I just I got along with so many people and um you know, so I told you I had Canai >> on the podcast last week. So we'll be releasing the next couple of weeks. >> Amazing. And you know when I remember I remember thinking you know because do you remember me doing a lot of sports in school? >> Yes. >> So I always admired him and I always just thought this guy's a phenomenal athlete and so he's involved in my business. So he's now um part he's heads uh the mental and performance coaching side of things >> and um so he's so he as you know like he he won two gold medals in the Commonwealth Games. He worked for Cert for 15 years. I think it was 10 years as a performer, 5 years as the head coach. >> And uh but I I just said to him, I'm so glad >> we're back in contact. Do you know what I mean? >> Yeah. >> And I'm also glad, you know, I said this to him, a lot of people aren't happy for other people's successes. >> Yeah. And I don't know why you That's a reflection of their internal >> It is. It is. But growing up in the UK was a bit weird. I'll tell you who I'm I'm still very close to. So, I'm still very close to uh Nikki Exona Fontes. Nikki X. Do you remember Nikki X? >> Oh, yeah. >> So, cuz we went to primary school together. >> Yeah. >> And um and Dion Dion Wils. >> Oh, yeah. >> So, they came they went to Phuket for their 40th and I flew over from Singapore. >> Oh, lovely. >> And um unfortunately Nikki's mom just passed away >> and Dion's grandma just passed away. Um but I just love the fact that they'll make the effort, right? And I'll send them silly voice messages and always they they know to not play in front of anyone else cuz there's going to be some lyrics. There's going to be some dirty lyrics. Do you know what I mean? >> So fast forward. So after high school wheeled, what did you study? >> Uh after we wield what did I do? I went to Green Hill. So Wield I did uh GMVQ science. >> Okay. I did GMQ business. >> Yeah. For some reason they convinced me. I went in there with all intentions of doing A levels. >> Yeah. Who convinced you? The school. >> The school. >> Yeah. It's my mom. for a year of it. They wanted to test it out. >> That That's the thing. But you were the test subject that GMBBQ it limited what we could do. Absolutely. >> So we couldn't go. >> No. >> Yeah. So just to explain to people, it's a general national vocational qualification and my mom said, >> "Paul, you're struggling academically. Go and do this." So it's worth two A levels. Um and then I did an A level as well. >> But then I realized, you know what? I couldn't get into any top five universities because of it. >> Right. And no one told us any of that. So mine was different. My mom said you are going to do A levels. It's very much a you know discipline throughout. Um so she said right what A levels are you going to do? So I went in to say I was going to do biology, physics. >> Jeez, >> don't ask me why I thought physics was a great idea. And I think it was psychology was the third one. And so I went in. Yeah. I'm doing these three. You know like you when you're a kid you're like repeating it in your head. this is what I'm doing. This is what I'm doing. I get there and they convince me >> that actually this is a great new course and you get to do the whole span of science and it includes everything and then >> but what I couldn't do was the psychology >> cuz it clashed with my >> That's the thing because GMBBQ was like 14 hours. It was quite intense. >> So then I had to choose something else. So on the spot I thought it was a good idea to choose English language cuz I'm like I speak English kind of. So I thought it can't be that difficult, you know. So yeah, I came out of there being completely hoodwinkedked into thinking that this was going to be a great new thing. >> Yeah. >> And you know, >> did you not cuz I actually I have to say I actually learned a lot in the class and my class was we did it in business and at least 75% of the cohort were the year or two above. >> Mhm. >> And they had failed or struggled, >> right? >> Or there were older guys and one of my mates Andrew Stains, he was like I think 24 and he decided to come back. So that so so there were some more mature students there but they'd also struggled academically and I have to say I learned more in terms of business yeah in two years than I did than I did at three years of university at Brunell. >> I think that's the difference is that it depends on what vocation you're looking at >> and also the subject. So I think for business it's great. >> Yeah. >> Because I think you need that multifaceted look >> that's true >> at business. Right. Whereas science >> you've got specific >> Yeah. >> you know >> very >> very specific parts of science that I think you absolutely need. >> So did did you just do one year at Greenh Hill? >> I did one year because >> So you allowed to swap out? I didn't realize that. >> I Yeah. So what happened was I passed all of the GMVQ. didn't pass the English because I hated it to be honest. Um, and then what happened was >> I was kind of pushed I would say I'm going to say it. I was pushed >> to do something that is from a cultural background do something as medical account. >> You should talk about that because because that's a real thing, right? And you know, even Galam, my media producer, his dad asked him to go into something he didn't he didn't want to do. >> And then in the end, he switched out. But you know, >> you know, you get you kind of get influence, I would say, is probably the better word. You're young, right? And you want influence and you want to please your parents and >> and you always you're always taught that your parents know best, right? >> And it's not their fault because they were taught the same thing. >> So they kind of influence you to say, "Look, this is better for you. We know best." You know, we're the adults. We know best. So I was kind of pushed and influenced to kind of go with okay I did really well in GCSE science so why not just do it as A levels and you know I can be a medic or whatever. Did I really want to be a medic? Not too sure I would. You know I wanted to do something a lot more creative I would say. >> So when you by the way for those that don't know Greenh Hill College was right next to Central Har Tube Station is a great location. Its nickname was Brown Hill College because 90% of the the students were were Brown. That was I but I again I I I love college. >> I really like I fell in love with a lot of my friends there. Became great mates with people. Um but that's crazy. You know, you probably don't know this. So when I was 17, um my mom we we fell on hard times cuz my dad had a stroke >> and uh he couldn't work for a long time. and she came up to my bedroom one night. I was doing my my coursework, GMVQ course work. And uh she said, "Honey, you you might have to drop out of college. You got to get a job." >> Oh, wow. >> Like on Monday. >> And the thing is, it's got to pay you at the end of the week. Whatever you do, you got to get paid. We we might not be able to make the mortgage payment. And up until then, I knew money was tight. But >> didn't think it was that bad. >> It was that bad. Right. And then, do you remember, you will remember this, next to High Street, next to South Harvey Station, it was a High Street employment agency. >> Yes. >> Do you remember it? Yes. >> And they just had all these posters up. I can't even remember what it was called. >> Springboard. Springboard. >> So funny, isn't it? We were doing a walk down memory lane. And I went in there and I said, you know, 6:30 in the morning cuz I knew they opened early. I said, do you have any jobs that are starting today that I could get paid at the end of this week, please? >> And they said, we we've got a job as a toilet cleaner. >> And I said, I'll take it, please. And they they started laughing. And I said, why are you laughing? They said, well, no one says please for being a toilet cleaner. >> Yeah, of course. And I said, you know, I need the money. And so I worked for 3 months as a toilet cleaner in Hammersmith Hospital and then King Edward the 7th Hospital, which was the Queen's Hospital. And uh one day after 3 months, I was handing in my time sheet and I was punching my card just put in content. I was working full-time and studying full-time. Wow. And I did that for the rest of college and uni. >> Um and then the phones were ringing and then I picked up the phone. I said, "Good morning, HM service. Hey, how can I help you?" And the the manager of the office, Richard Gordon, the black guy, goes, "What the hell are you doing?" I said, "I'm answering the [ __ ] telephone, you idiot. What does it look like? You know what I'm like with my lyrics?" And um he he said, "You speak English?" I said, "Yeah, probably better than you do." And and um he he was amused cuz I said it, I was being cheeky, but he he said, "Well, what's your story?" And to be fair to him, all the toilet cleaners were foreign refugees. >> Right. >> Right. And uh I told him my story and he said, "Look, do you want to come and work in the office with me?" >> I said, "Doing what?" He said, "Recruitment." I said, "What's recruitment?" And like 31 years later, I'm still doing it. And I I said, "Look, as long as it gets me out of the latrine, >> you know, and then I did every different type of job." >> Uh so like I was doing wine waitering in the evening. I became a silver service chef. Sorry, civil service waiter. I learned to become a bad sue chef. I I got my heavy goods vehicle driving license. So I was driving on Saturday and Sundays cuz I got paid double and triple time. And um yeah, a lot of people don't know that. So actually when we went to >> So by the time I got into uni, I got this I got this gig with a a company called the Institute of Electrical Engineers, >> right? >> And I think I had probably 20 people from Whitmore that went to university in London because I'd already paid their travel card working with me >> three or four nights a week from 6:00 to 10:30. >> Amazing. >> Yeah. So I managed like we had I had I don't know 50 plus staff there and I was managing and then I was doing it as well cuz then I would get paid twice >> of course >> right and Neil Patel uh Nicola Galbra her brother Joel Crocker >> Wow >> Stuart Reed loads of and and >> this is flashback from >> flashbacks right and uh I can't even remember who else it was there there was a lot and some of them stayed longer than I did cuz I I moved on some of them stayed there for 2 and a half three years. >> It's weird, isn't it? >> That's crazy. >> Absolutely banging. >> Um and then and then what did you do after Greenh Hill? >> So Green Hill I um I decided that actually wasn't really for me because I couldn't get into university >> with with what I was doing, right? Cuz I had one year of um at Greenh Hill of um biology, psych uh physics and psychology and I knew I was going to fail physics with flying colors. Yeah. The only interestingly though the only module I passed was quantum physics. >> Jesus how >> out of everything because it just resonated with me >> really. >> Yeah. And I didn't know at the time why >> why >> I just knew that it re >> what did you learn what did you learn later >> just about the fact that quantum theory um you know just how molecules work etc. I al it also sparked my curiosity I would say in terms of my religion. >> So I was I was brought up as a Hindu. >> Um but I asked a lot of questions very curious. So I asked a lot of questions about why am I fasting for this? Why am I doing this? Why why do we do this day and have certain things etc? Why? And if I didn't get an answer that I felt explained why we were doing it or it didn't make sense to me and I didn't realize but I did actually trust my intuition at the time. Um I would be like well I don't really want to do this if it doesn't make sense to me >> cuz before I would follow blindly and just be like okay it's just how it is. And then when I did physics and like I said quantum was the only thing that actually resonated with me but what if we are the same as a atom like we're just >> you know like looking at what an atom how it works neurons etc. What if we're just that like our universe is that? >> You were going deep. >> I was going deep at such a young age but I just thought I was a bit of a geek in that side of things but what I knew was that that's what sparked my interest. So then I started questioning my own religion and I was like this doesn't fit in. >> Oh really? >> So I believed more in the big bang theory than I did in my religion. So then I kind of got to a place where I'm like um and my mom never forced me. She's like you don't have to you know go and pray and go to the temple etc. But if you want to come then I'd like that. So I do things to please my mom to cuz it wasn't really going to harm me. >> What what are you thinking now? How do you feel about things? So I still appreciate my I say culture. >> Yeah. >> Cuz the culture is what makes me >> Yeah. >> who I am, right? I've grown up in that. There's certain things like religious, you know, activities that we did. >> For example, Natri which is a festival of light etc. which I have very fond memories of >> of course >> which is you know a whole new bunch of friends >> who are from my community that I used to see every single year. >> Yeah. for a number of years and we used to enjoy dancing, getting together, you know, looking at boys, you know, things like that >> as you do. >> So you do. Yeah. And so it was all part of growing up. But I have very fun memories and I had a whole separate set of friends there. It wasn't family, it was friends. >> Yeah. So interesting. Yeah. >> You know, one of the things growing up, um, what I realized was, cuz I'm from a mixed heritage, so my dad was Irish, mom's Chinese, Singaporean, and when my mom and dad got married, >> his dad didn't come to the wedding cuz he was marrying a Chinese woman. >> And he was raised Catholic and my mom was Methodist. >> And um, and my grandmother also didn't go and they were leaving the wedding cuz they got married in Ireland. Mhm. >> As they were driving, they saw my grandmother, my my dad's mom walking. It was like a 5 mile walk. She didn't get there in time cuz her husband wouldn't drive her. >> And then my mom said she wouldn't have kids. This that this was a story she told me until my grandfather passed away >> because she didn't want that in her life. But what I found difficult to understand was so what I loved about where we grew up, it was so multicultural. It really was. I saw a lot more segmentation by the time we got to college. So like I even saw the difference between religions. So like >> all of a sudden the Muslim guys were over there, the SE guys were there and they weren't talking. I was just thinking 6 months ago you guys were best friends. You saw that. >> Yeah. Absolutely. >> Right. And the the thing the biggest thing that I started doing was I distanced myself from anyone who I thought was going down the wrong path. >> So anyone that was doing drugs, which were a lot. But what percentage of our year do you think at high school were doing marijuana? easily 70%. >> That's what I'm saying. People can't understand that. And you know, just as an athlete, right, I didn't want to go down that that road. And my mom and dad were they were strict, >> right? You didn't mess with them. And but I always uh had an affiliation with South Asians because their parents were the same. >> They believed in education. They were strict. And then it's funny, but I've always all my friends say, "Oh, you've always liked Indian girls." I said, "I didn't actually have much of a choice." >> Because you were surrounded by where you grew up. >> Yeah. But um one or two of the Indian girls I did go out with their older brothers came to see me >> and they they tried to threaten me and um Yeah. And it was quite it was you know at the time I it wasn't nice but I found it a little bit amusing. But what I realized is is that most of our parents' generation they left their home countries and they kept that that heritage and they didn't realize that India's now changed. >> Yes. >> Right. So if you think about it when when we're in our teens if you were going out with a non-br person >> or non-Hindu and not from the same cast >> it was a big no no >> massively. >> Right. And then fast forward all these years later you're now seeing that change. >> Yeah. >> Right. Is it changing now a little bit more? >> Oh yeah it is. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. There's so many I mean we used to joke if you're going to break out of the mold at least make it worth it. That's basically what we were we used to joke amongst ourselves. That's what parents used to say to us. >> You know that the >> the meaning behind it is that someone's got to be extra >> special for you to break out of the mold >> that you've been brought up in. Like you know stick to your own kind etc. But at the time a lot of people rebelled because they didn't really understand and they weren't probably explained very well >> why our parents used to tell us that >> and predominantly it was because a generational >> you know that's their generational thought process >> and B was they thought it would be easier >> in life >> because you have a common understanding you've gone through common traumas you know there's a trauma bonding there you've come to England and you've had to go through the same struggles as a, you know, ethnic person. >> So, if you go out of that, you know, you're going to struggle until and unless the other cultural, you know, person that you've got in your life that you want to be with has gone through the same struggles. >> Yeah. >> But ultimately, it was always frowned upon. You know what I find interesting because my my wife Tara her so she's half Bengali quarter Indian and the other quarters mixed like Caucasian. Um but her family her mom and dad were divorced but they 100% embraced me. >> That's amazing. >> Yeah. And her dad was born in India. He was Anglo Indian. Um but he was president of the Eurasian association. And when I moved to Singapore I never really heard the term Eurasian. >> Right. But it basically means people that are mixed between Asian and whatever else. typically >> Europeans and um and I'll tell you lovely story. So, we'd been dating for a few months and she was in Hong Kong with her mates on a trip or something like that and he calls me up on a Friday night goes, "Paul, what are you doing?" I said, "I'm just having a couple of drinks." He said, "I'll come out for a few drinks with me." So, he ended up taking me to three of his friends houses >> and it's kind of like showing me off and introducing me to everyone like I'm I'm a new puppy or something. >> And um and I didn't know where we was going. He said, "Uh, we'll go by your place. We'll pick up a bag. Why don't you spend the weekend with me? >> I'll cook you breakfast in the morning." I thought, "Wow." And as we were walking into his front door, he put his arm over my shoulder. He goes, "You know, Paul, you're like the son I never have, but I always wanted." >> A >> and and he was a he he was a real rogue when it came to ladies, you know, he was a bit naughty. And uh on our one-y year anniversary, he said to me uh he he wrote a letter a love like a love letter to us and he just said, "Look, I think you guys are going to last and go all the way." And um you know, he said, "Paul, you've even taught me an old dog a few new tricks about how how to treat a woman and this that and the other." And uh he gave me a hard time as well, you know, in the in that first year as dads do. >> They have to, >> you know, it's it's right passage. Exactly. Um but then uh maybe a few months, not maybe a few months later, he died very suddenly. He was 62. >> So when we got married, we got married in Bali, we put a plate for him at the end of the table. >> And and I read that letter to everyone. Most people were crying cuz it was so meaningful. Do you know what I mean? But when I look back at it, I can tell you unequivocally and and Tara's mom as well. Um that they embraced me cuz if they didn't, it would have been very difficult. >> Absolutely. would have been >> you you marry the family >> 100%. >> You do, right? >> Yeah. >> You know, so >> like for me it's it's super important that whoever I'm with would be accepted by my mom and that's really hard because my mom's tough. >> Is it? >> Yeah. She was always like, "It's got to be Patel. It's got to be from the same community for so many years." >> But >> I think Patel was the most common name in our high school. I mean, she said, "Look, there's like I'm like, "Yeah, but have you seen the B, you know, in my community." Um, but I I used to always kind of feel a little bit con like restricted. >> Yeah. >> And I thought, well, I can try. That's all I can say. >> Do you How does it work with the community? Cuz there were so many people like Neil Patel, Hen Patel, right? Did Did you guys know each other growing up or it's not? >> Not really. No cuz everyone's from so the community >> works like for the Patels you have different parts of India that have different types of patells as well. >> Okay. >> So it's very complicated. So you can imagine when I as I was growing up I was like I don't get it. >> Yeah. >> Why are we different to that Patel? >> Yeah. >> You know >> but then my mom would try and explain it as well as she could. Right. But essentially it's like originally what would have happened is that there would have been the original family like forefathers um they would have given their lands to different sons. >> Okay. >> Right. And then those sons would obviously had their own families and then you know they would grow their village from that and then it would end up being a split of a number of little villages. So my community is a collection of 27 villages that are very close to one another. So it's it's all about geographical. >> Wow. >> And then you've got another set of 24 villages. So that's a different community. >> I didn't know any. >> And you got five and then you got six. >> Really? >> Yeah. So there's a few I think there's around five or six different communities within the Patels. >> Really? >> Yeah. And some of them think they're higher up the scale than you know than we are. like you know it's like the more villages you are the lower down the like it's people's perception of what is better and what's not you know. >> Yeah. >> So that's so interesting. >> It's interesting but it's like really confusing as a kid. Right. >> Yeah. And and when we moved we moved from Corbin's Lane to Abbert's Drive when my mom and dad retired to Ireland >> and we had this tiny house >> and the width of the house is the width of this room. >> No way. >> Yeah. It's a two-bedroom house. It was a lovely place and um >> I think the teacher that we bought it from used to be a teacher high school after we left or something. I can't remember. But there were only like four houses on that street. It's a tiny tiny little street. >> Small. Yeah. >> But by the time I left, there was a Patel next to me when I when we bought the place, but by the time I left, they were all Patels. And I was just This is crazy, you know, >> cuz it's like come over here. It's great here. >> Then everyone descends. So tell us about your journey coming to Dubai. Like when did you first come and when did you start thinking this was an option for you? >> So I first came many years ago. I think it was around 15 years ago. My friend had moved out here. >> Okay. >> And I came out here just to see what it was like cuz she said it's great out here. And I thought, okay, is it a viable option for me? But I came for a holiday. So I was out partying all the time. >> Yeah. cuz I've been a party girl or was a party girl uh for many years. And so I was like, "This is great." Like >> this is a whole new level of partying. >> It's banging, >> right? Um >> and so that's what I came here to do. It was just party, go to the beach, you know, see if there's any work here that I could do. But at the time it wasn't really a viable option for me because what I would get out here was nowhere near what I was getting back in the UK. >> And then I thought, well, I've got a family, you know, I'm an only child, so it's just me, my mom and dad. >> So therefore, >> it didn't make sense for me to move out here. It wasn't worth like >> the package that I would have got at that time was not worth me moving completely. >> Um, so then I decided, no, it's great for a holiday. So, I never really got that feeling of, okay, I can move out here. Um, but I saw my friends doing really well and they're like, look, you know, it's a great place to be. You can do really well out here. So, it was always in the back of my mind, but I knew that I'd have to go from a a gutled feeling >> if I was to move here. >> Interesting. >> And I' I came I think another time in between with friends and we just came out here just to chill out. We did two weeks did the Grand Prix and then we did um a week of chill in Abu Dhabi and that was a great holiday. Spent a hell of a lot of money. >> I bet >> but it was a great experience. But even then I did I did have a conversation. Still didn't feel like a pull for me to live here. >> Yeah. >> So I kind of left it then as well. And then the last time I came was after a 28-day retreat in Sri Lanka. >> Wow. >> Any ofadic bunch of karma. >> Did you go on your own >> retreat on my own? >> I've done a month in Sri Lanka on my own as well. Weird. >> Amazing. It was life-changing for me. >> Did you go to everywhere? Like were you in Candy? Were you >> I was just in one place. >> Where was that? >> Yeah, that was in a rubber plantation. Wow. >> Called the plantation villa. So it was an hour outside of Columbbo. >> Yeah. >> And it was inland. >> You took a month off from work. >> I actually was on a sbatical. >> Good. Because >> And you actually did something though. >> Yeah. >> So I was on a sbatical from work um because I'd burnt out from >> How old How old were you at the time? >> Uh well I was 40. >> Why I ask is because because these are very salient moments in someone's life. >> Did you get a lot of good massages there? Yeah. >> Yeah. Cuz I had that that was the first time I had an ivadic massage was in um actually I think I had it in candy. >> Yeah. >> So the 28 day um retreat. >> How did you even come across it? >> I was just researching cuz I was like I was burnt out. I was getting icaria on my face which is when I actually took stock and thought >> it's in my face and I need to do something about it. M >> so then I basically I had to keep a diary about what I was eating and things like that and everything that was you know in my environment. So when the allergy doctor said that it was stress induced cuz obviously I hadn't been in a hot country or in any extreme heat etc and several other factors didn't really apply to me. >> Um the stress was the biggest indicator of why I was getting it and I've never in my life had an allergy ever. >> Yeah. So this was the first time and to have it on your face as a clientf facing >> you know um industry I was like devastated >> of course but you know what it probably was good in some ways cuz if it was anywhere else you would have just you could have just covered it up and >> Exactly. >> you could have had a breakdown. >> Exactly. So but it was the culmination of everything that led to that point. >> Wow. And I think it was a catalyst I would say for me to start looking at my life and my environment. >> Beautiful. >> So I took the sbatical. I tried to quit and they said no no let's not be too hasty. Have a think about it which I'm I'm grateful for because fair play to them. >> It gave me that opportunity and it also made me feel like I was valued in the in the firm. >> Absolutely. And you got a bit of peace of mind if you wanted to come back. >> Exactly. So they said take a sbatical. So I did. Um, initially it was 3 months, but then it actually took me 6 weeks for me to stop having the ericar re reoccurring cuz every time I got over a bout of it, I'd get another bout. So, it took 6 weeks for it to completely come out of my system. >> Wow. >> And so, that was 6 weeks out of my 3 month sbatical. So, I was in that time I was thinking, I really want to get away. And then I was doing research and this plantation villa just kept coming up for what I was looking for which was ivadic. I just wanted a complete shock to my system reset etc. That's what I was feeling. So that's what I was searching for. And the same um retreat was coming up every time. So I'm like it's a sign I have to go to this place. >> And no regrets at all. I was initially going to do 2 weeks. Then it ended up being a month. So I was like well makes sense. did a month and it was life-changing. Absolutely life-changing. The first week you have lymphatic drainage massage to prepare your body. >> And one thing that I was a little bit worried about was how am I going to eat vegan food and it was satic food which means no onions, no garlic. >> So no taste. >> I was thinking that that was my perception. >> Yeah. >> I went there and I can tell you the food was amazing. like out of this world. It was farm to table. Super fresh. They make their own spices, oils, etc. >> Yeah. I always found Sri Lankan food too spicy for me. >> Really too spicy. Yeah. >> So in in the satic food, you don't have too much spice. >> Okay. >> Cuz it can aggravate your >> for sure >> your stomach. Right. >> But you you going for massage every day? >> Yes. >> Because cuz you know, you probably don't know this, but I'm massively into massage. Like I I believe in it massively. In so much so I ended up I set up a a mobile spa business. >> Oh wow. >> Um and unfortunately I had to close it during co and the goal was that it would not just do regular massage but like sports massage and then I wanted to dove that tail into health care providing nurse nursing for the elderly. Cuz when Tara's granny fell ill she died at 102. She was an amazing woman. >> Wow. But the nurses that came to to they had to come to change her her drip um she was fully immobile so she was in a hospital bed and she had got bed sores >> but the nurses would change every week >> and she was you know she had dementia >> Alzheimer's kicking in >> and then you know so if you don't know the person each time it adds to the stress of course >> so I thought you know what I'm going to make this a business I'm just going to pay the nurses better >> look after them hopefully they'll stay on the payroll longer But then co happened and it changed everything. And the reason why because like when when I was a sportsman um unequivocally massage was part of my health routine but I couldn't really afford it. >> So now I consider it part of my health routine but I consider it a a gift. >> Yeah. It's selfare. >> It's selfare selfare. Exactly. >> And I was also very much of >> oh no that's an indulgence. Yeah, >> I always thought >> I never really did it. It would always be, oh, there's this, you know, really great place and somebody would recommend it. I'd go once and then I wouldn't think. So, the culmination of the career, etc., was me not doing selfcare very well. >> Uh, you know, like it was always about everything else and everyone else. I never really did selfcare and it was never really a big part of my life. >> Beautiful. I'm so glad you're sharing this part of your journey cuz it's big. So what in week two, what did that look like? >> So week two was the puncha which is your five elements of detoxification. >> Okay. >> And the first one is taking a super super strong laxative. >> Yeah. >> And when I tell you this laxative >> is like nothing ever I've ever had before. >> How much how much weight did you >> 30 minutes it took? >> Oh Jesus. And you were straight >> straight away. But it's a process, right? So I was like, "Oh my god." But it's a process and they talk you through it. And the week before the lymphatic drainage was your, you know, your prep, prepping your body. >> So the, >> so the first one was the laxative >> that I was actually, you know, I think I was squeaking actually. I was that clean. >> But no, but when you're not well, I remember my mom not being well and you you you just want to get better. >> Yeah. Exactly. But they give you all the nutrients to, you know, you get a soup with like a little bit of, you know, rice in it and quite salty >> to bring your nutrients back into your body. And then the next stage was um doing uh >> a treatment called Shiridara. >> Okay. >> Now, this I've got to say is >> the one thing that I have recommended to all my clients, anyone, friends, family, anyone that wants to know about it, >> if you got monkey mind, >> okay? Right. And you get sinus issues, you have headaches quite often. >> Yeah, that's my daughter. >> But very much, I would say the the best treatment for monkey mind cuz I struggled to meditate. I'd been to yoga classes, etc., and just kind of did a bit of meditation. Didn't do very well. So, I struggled with meditation cuz my I would get distracted. I would hear a fly or a mosquito and think it's going to bite me or whatever, you know. So, three sessions of Shiridhara, which is it's basically you'd be lying down. There's a pendulum over you >> um with a bowl and a hole in it and it has warm oil, specific type of oil. >> Wow. I'm not >> It's a warm oil that when you're lying down, your eyes are covered with like cotton oil or whatever. Um and this pendulum goes from left to right over your forehead. Yeah. Over your forehead. >> Yeah. And when I tell you the sensation of it and the feeling of it is unlike anything else that you will feel. >> Can you do it in Dubai? >> You can do it anywhere. Anywhere that that offers IVIC treatments >> Yeah. >> will do this treatment. >> Can you recommend a place in Dubai though? >> Uh yeah, I can >> cuz I I like to try before I go. >> Definitely. Definitely. It's so good. And I when I first did it, it was super strange. And I immediately felt the back of my head just tingling, >> right? And so what I can describe is that it just feels like everything melts away. >> Wow. >> Everything melts away. So the first session, obviously it's your first session, I was still there was a little bit of, you know, I did the meditation the next morning cuz you have a daily routine of meditation, yoga, etc. The next morning I was still a little bit you know get pulled on different noises around me etc. second session. After the second session, I was like, "Oh, actually, I'm feeling a bit of tumble weed now, which is great cuz it's better than me thinking about what am I going to eat? I'm hungry. I'm, you know, like >> those kind of things would come into my mind." And then after the third session, now I had the, you know, convenience of three sessions in a row. Um, after a third session, I could actually be blank, which I've never had in my life. >> Wow. >> I could be blank and I could do meditation easily where I wasn't starting to get distracted or thinking or whatever. It was probably the best treatment that I've ever had and I've recommended so many people and they've come back to me and said, "Thank you for recommending it." Like it was Yeah. >> Yeah. So powerful. >> So powerful. And then at the end of the the four weeks, how did you feel? >> Honestly, I felt a million dollars. >> Did you know you you were not going back to the corporate life? >> I didn't know at the time, but I knew that I had changed >> significantly. I It was what, an hour of screen time a day. So, I had no screens. I only had people to talk to. >> And you had to You have to have a lot of courage going there on your own. >> Yeah. I mean, look, it was >> No, but a lot of people wouldn't do it, Jess. They couldn't they couldn't do it. >> Yeah. >> There's a lot of people that said to me, "I wouldn't have been able to do it by myself, or can I go with a friend?" I'm like, "Absolutely, you can go with a friend." >> But I think >> the the lifechanging part for me was the fact that I went on my own. >> Me time. >> I went on my own. >> It's a gift. >> Absolutely. And I went I I went and I had I forced myself to take myself away from the TV cuz I used to use that as a distraction. I used to watch trash TV just to kind of de-stress and completely take myself away from what my life was. >> I love this. >> Whereas this was bringing me back to nature. I was very much a fivestar only. Not to say this place was bad. It was just I would say it was like a fourstar >> because for me it was like there was no TV or anything like that but it was super clean. >> The people there were absolutely amazing. >> Couldn't do enough for you. Sri Lankan people are amazing people. Um, and the food was, >> you know, tasty, fresh. Like for me, that was probably seven stars. >> Yeah. >> But when I got there, I was like, "Oh, this is not what I'm used to." >> Yeah. >> Right. There's no TV and, you know, >> but but it needed to be simple. >> It needed to be simple so that you could get back to yourself. >> So then, so after this journey, you go back and when do you realize Dubai's calling? >> So actually on my route back, I went via Dubai. >> Ah, here we go. So, my two my two best friends moved out here. >> You didn't go and get drunk and lose that 4 weeks. >> I didn't get drunk. I I might have had a couple of drinks. >> Okay. >> Um and so when I came here, I stayed for 2 weeks with my best friend. They just recently moved out here and um yeah, they said, "Come come and stay with us." So, I stayed with them and I I saw Dubai with a different lens. >> Yeah. >> You know, cuz I'd changed as a person. So, I didn't see it as just going out partying and, you know, that kind of vibe. It was very different for me. And I was like, "Oh, how can I can I see myself out here?" Because it's, you know, it's a >> it's like maybe the most busiest city that I can think of, like, how can I, this new person that I am, fit into this world? >> Yeah. >> Is it going to be me going from one sort of busy life to another busy life? And then I thought, no, actually I did a little bit of a, you know, bit more of a wrecky than I would normally. >> Yeah. >> Um, went to the beaches, went to like different parts of of Dubai. I thought, yeah, I think I could see myself here. But I thought, okay, maybe I'm on a high of just coming back from an amazing, you know, one month away. So, I went back to England, had a summer in London, and I had to make up my mind. So I had a 1 month >> left on >> and I had to let them know whether I was coming back or extending or you know uh not going back. So then I made the decision after I spoke to my accountant to say if I quit my job how long am I good for? Like how long do I have before I have to struggle you know >> and he >> is your accountant in Harrow? >> He's in UK. He's UK based. >> Yeah. >> Or he was UK based. He's now moved out here actually. >> Has he? >> Yeah. but he still works with his UK clients course. Yeah. And you know, he's he's a great guy and he's been very >> he's been very um honest with a lot of the stuff that I've gone through. So >> I would count him as a friend almost, right? So um very trustworthy, I would say. >> And I said to him, I was like, "Real talk, like you know, how long can I be out here and just kind of find myself as it were?" They said, "You're good for about at least 18 months to 2 years." And that's even better. >> Well done. So then I was like, right, I've got that behind my back, you know, I've got that as a backup. And then obviously the next thing was to speak to my parents to say, look, do you support my decision? And they're like, absolutely. >> Beautiful. >> You know, cuz they obvious >> it's so important that you have the support from your nearest and dearest. >> Yeah. >> So that really helped as well. >> Quit my job and then Yeah. uh quit my job in so July was the last end of July I think it was or mid July and then uh I started to research what what am I going to do where and luckily my best friends again said look come and stay with us to get yourself started so I stayed with them for a month and just figured out where I'm going to move to where I'm going to live so then what I did was I kind of hoboed around like went to different areas to figure out >> yeah is this for you >> yeah cuz I thought I don't want to commit to a place that I don't really know. But I thought, let me just do 3 months here first, you know, cuz you get a 90-day visa, right? >> Yeah. >> So, I thought, let me do 3 months and just do a proper wrecky cuz I could just be on a high from my trip. >> What's funny is that you were questioning yourself on that. Like, you know, like I've I've been the opposite. It's like, I'm going. Let's go. Let's go. But it's what you went through is very real. >> Yeah. Cuz I also hadn't um I had a property in the UK. >> Yeah. So, I had a flat in Bow. I thought, "What am I going to do with it?" And then, >> you know what was funny? Bow's now a trendy area, but like when we grew up, it was a [ __ ] hole and they've gentrified that area big time. >> Exactly. >> My aunt's from Forest Gate. >> Oh gosh. >> And Yeah. So, check this out. So, Tara, my wife went to LSE. >> I I met her in Singapore, but her idea of central London or London is central London. >> Yeah. and she at some point said, "Let's move back to the UK." And I said, "I just need you to know before we get married. I'm never going back to the UK." >> I've said this, I in 2001, I knew I was never going back. It's not I don't love the UK, >> but I'm not in love with the UK. You know, the UK in summer is great. >> Mhm. >> And I've not lived there since 01. I barely go back, >> right? Cuz my mom and dad retired to Ireland. And I said, "But if you want to know what London really is like, we're going to stay with my aunt and forest gate." And then my son, >> did you pre-warn her of what it was going to be like? >> I said, "Yeah, it's a bit it's a bit rough and ready." So, so, so Kaden was about six or seven months old and she said, "Oh, we need to go to the doctors, do something." I said, "Right, you go down. It's just down there." And um she didn't know, but I followed them. She thought she was on her own. >> Mhm. >> And um she came back and she goes, "Is this really what London's like?" I said, "It's part of London, >> but the reality is unless you're phenomenally wealthy, >> we're not going to be living in central London. you know, we're not going to be living in high hob and this that and the other and um and then I think, you know, that's it that I I I closed the chapter on that discussion. >> But it's like I I love where we grew up. Um but you can't, you know, just to paint a picture for the for the people that don't know where we grew up visav Dubai and Singapore is chalk and cheese >> completely. You just can't even I mean I'm I'm almost thinking why you were thinking I might not come out here just like like here it's just >> I mean a little worst case scenario you can always go back. >> Absolutely. And that's what it was like the first thought was okay can I really do this or was I just on a on a high from my trip and I thought I had a great experience coming out with a different lens but then I've been in London for like >> 3 4 months afterwards. >> Yeah. So for me, just because of who I am, I'm very much a I'm gonna make sure that it's 100% what I want to do rather than a snap decision cuz that's just not who I am innately. >> Yeah. >> But I came out here for 3 months, did the hoboing and did a, you know, a lot of networking. A lot of networking. >> Yeah. >> Um and I absolutely loved it. >> And then you decided, well, after 3 months, okay, I'm going to do this. And that's when I went home and I was like packing my things, putting my place on rent, >> right? >> And literally that's what I did. Put my car in storage at my parents, moved all my stuff to my parents, bless them, they had my boxes in there, like 30 odd boxes in there in their free lounge for a few months. Um, but I thought when I come back, I'm going to actually find somewhere that I'm going to stay. I'm going to get a job or whatever I'm going to do. I didn't h I didn't have a plan, but I was like, this is where I need to be. >> Amazing. lot again a lot of courage now then tell us about the journey becoming an entrepreneur because it's the next step >> so the entrepreneur came from um actually the 3 months that I was here I did a lot of networking and then I also applied for roles in financial crime risk and compliance right regulatory landscape here is different >> so I had to do a lot of learning around the differences and I was obviously going for roles intentionally unintentionally I don't know. I would say unintentionally at the looking in hindsight. >> But what happened when I came back, I thought I still had time in on my visa, >> but they changed the rules. >> So what I didn't realize is that the 90 days does not reset, which I'd been previously advised. The 90 days does not reset when you go back home for a month. Oh, >> it used to. >> So I'd been home for Christmas for one month. And then I come back to Dubai thinking that oh my visa's reset for another 90 days while I figure out what I'm doing or get a job with a visa. Anyway, I thought, let me just check my file cuz you can check it online, right? Check my file and it said I was 5 days overstayed. >> Oh no. >> So panic set in. My best friend had come back with me for a holiday. So I'm like first week of our holiday, I'm just chilling. I'm like, yeah, this is great. going to beach clubs, brunches, etc. And then I check my file and it's like the last week of her trip. I'm stressing about my visa. I'm thinking, "Shit, I'm going to get, you know, deported or something or put in jail cuz you just don't know." And then my friend's like, "Relax, it's fine. Just go and speak to them, etc." And then long story short, um they the easiest way for me to get a visa because I knew I wasn't going to go back and I knew I wasn't going to be a tourist anymore was basically set up your own company. >> So I thought, well, I'm going to be a consultant either way in financial crime cuz I was still under that illusion that that's what I'm going to do. >> Yeah. >> So then it was almost forced that I had to get a visa very quick. >> Got a company to do the company formation. >> Okay. Okay. So essentially like a contractor back in the UK >> for a limited company but here it's LLC. Yeah. >> So I went down that journey, set up my company and it my services were management consulting and project management services which is aligned to what I already was doing. Um and then it that's basically what I started out trying to do. Nothing really came of it. But then because of my journey of thinking well actually I really prefer doing coaching so how about I start that as a side hustle that's that was the pretense of it >> okay >> so I thought let me start doing that and then a lot more people were interested when I when people asked me what I'm doing I'll say oh I'm just you know doing financial crime consultant and then I was like but I'm also doing coaching and everyone said to me your face lights up when you talk about coaching >> isn't that Yeah. >> Right. When you're talking about, you know, the the consulting side of things, the management, consulting, project management, and they're like, it's kind of just a, >> you know, an elevator pitch that you're just kind of, you know, >> you're not passionate. >> No, the passion wasn't there. So, that kind of gave me an indicator that actually maybe I should pursue this more. >> So, then the side hustle became the main hustle essentially. >> So, I'm like, why am I forcing my cuz that was forced and it was going against what I was actually feeling. But we're institutionalized. You know, we go to school, we go into the corporate world. >> This is it. >> And even, you know, one of my closest friends here, he uh >> I said to him, cuz I've run my own company for 20 years, and now he's doing his own thing kind of like you are. And I just said, "But do you still feel a bit guilty?" We were out on the boat in the morning and he goes, "Yes, it's just a weird thing." It's like, you know, cuz we we're doing our own thing, >> but you still feel guilty and it's just it's from childhood. It's a strange feeling. I I absolutely felt the guilt. >> Yeah. >> And then I was like, because I've told everyone, I'm coming out here doing what I was doing before. >> And you know, I was so adamant that's what I was going to do. >> Yeah. >> And then I was like, I can't possibly change what I'm doing cuz that's what I was conditioned to feel. >> Yeah. >> From society and, you know, our upbringing and influence. But then I slowly thought, well, actually, maybe I should do a course. Did you have friends that were living the same kind of life here as in doing something different? >> Yes. >> Cuz cuz what I always say is I say you should never take advice from someone you wouldn't trade places with. >> Absolutely. And you shouldn't take advice from someone who hasn't been there and done it and tried it before because you know like my my biggest thing was like my mom and my wife have they're my heroes you know my and uh I realized now cuz my dad didn't talk a lot but he was he was an adventurer and my wife my mom sorry wasn't and my mom my wife I get my mom wife my wife's very conservative and I actually don't ask her too much about when I'm about to do when I set up the podcast, when I set up because I know she'll inately like my mom say, "Are you sure?" >> Yeah. >> And um and I don't, you know, I will do what I want to do anyway. >> Yeah. >> Um as long as it doesn't hurt the family. >> Absolutely. >> Right. But I've never allowed other people's negativity or conservatism work against me. I remember like when I wanted to move to Singapore, I met a man who's my uncle through marriage and he was the dean of the business school. >> Mhm. And I said, "How do you think I can come out to Singapore?" I was 21. And he goes, "Go and work for a management consultancy. Do this, do this, do that." And um and he was saying, "It's going to be a 10 to 15 year track." And next year I was out. And then um one time I eventually many many many years later I was married with two kids. I invited the family over and he said, "How come you didn't look us up?" And I said, "Cuz you didn't believe in me." >> Oh. >> And I said, "I knew what I was capable of." And you don't get me wrong. Yeah, you're absolutely right. But you're a professor. What do you know about money, commerce, selling, even though you ran the business school? He's a really nice guy. >> I said, "Sell something to me." >> I said, "You can't, you know, and I and the thing is it's it's like, don't get me wrong, you came from the right place, but I've just I I've never accepted no from someone that can can't help me make it a yes." >> Yeah. >> Do you know what I mean? >> Exactly. Um, and and it's really weird because when I look back at school, this sounds terrible, but from a very young age, from about 11 or 12, I could tell who was going to do well in life. >> Really? >> Yeah. >> I was not wrong. I could tell these guys are going down this path, you know, be it they were doing drugs or they were getting into trouble. And listen, I've I was always wild myself, >> but it was there's different types of wild and and like how you can get away with things and you can't get away with things and um and I always the thing for me was >> because I had to provide for the family from a very young age, I had to be disciplined. >> Do you know what I mean? Yeah. >> And then and then that that was the key thing. So, I don't know. And I what I've realized with the podcast, what's really interesting is I've met so many different types of people. And what I love is when someone makes a switch >> Yeah. >> in their career, you know, and and it takes a lot of courage. So, tell us what what the business is all about now. So, it's coaching. >> It's coaching. I'm still doing coaching. It's around transformational um coaching. It's essentially about changing people's mindset. Um because and it's coming from an embodied livedin experience, right? M >> um it's helping people with self-limiting beliefs cuz I had them and I had to overcome them. I've also had to work with people that have had those self-limiting beliefs. Um help them get over that. >> Yeah. >> And you know, just helping people to like find their purpose because they feel the guilt. You know, I had to do it on myself. >> Yeah. >> You know, I've changed directions now probably a bit like two and a half times. >> Yeah. Right. So for me it's like I don't feel genuine when I speak to people unless I've gone through it myself or helped someone or been around somebody that's gone through that and I've seen the change. >> Yeah. >> Cuz everything I feel needs to be from a lived in, you know, embodied experience. >> Yeah. >> To actually be credible and, you know, genuine and authentic, right? So yeah, I'm still doing the coaching. Um, but I've also added on more recently um something else that actually I'm quite passionate about in more recent times. >> What is it? >> Which is the non-toxic living. >> Okay, good. >> So, >> we talked about that off camera. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> So, it's it's very much something that's close to my heart. So obviously off the back of the carrier that I got, I started to delve into you know everything in my life that I could see could be toxic. >> That's not just my environment, work environment, home environment, everywhere, >> friends, everything. >> Yeah. because I'm like if I'm going to be if this is a sign from my body like you know the whistleblower as it were my myaria was the whistleblower like you need to really take a long hard look at your life >> and what you're doing >> obviously I'd been out here and I've been drinking for 30 years I would say >> been drinking partying now that's not to say you can't drink or party >> but it's just the fact that I didn't I had a very bad >> relationship with alcohol alcohol. >> Yeah. >> And I didn't realize that. I thought I was just having fun and having a great time. >> And I was the fun as well. >> Yeah. >> In the sense that people would invite me to things etc. But what was I doing? I was being the entertainment. >> Yeah. >> You know, that wasn't doing me any favors. >> So then I had a long hard look at myself. But >> the the change was when with regards to the drinking was in the February last year. I went to a party and um I hadn't eaten properly so I hadn't lined my stomach cuz remember back in the day we'd line our stomachs >> with whatever chips or bread or whatever, right? >> Um I hadn't had enough of that. I had like salad or whatever in the day. I was at an event and I had to rush home and get ready to go to this other place. Anyway, long story short, I didn't get time to eat anything that would have given me, you know, and and I'd turned vegetarian 4 years prior to that. So very limited as to what I could get at an event. >> Yeah. >> So I thought, okay, I'll get to the place and we've got a, you know, a package deal, whatever. Got there. Um, started on the welcome drinks, which was fizz. And then the table was getting a bottle of vodka. My drink was vodka with soda cuz I thought I was doing myself a favor, right, by not having sugar. >> Yeah. >> Um, and then the food came and it was crudes for vegetarian. >> Yeah. So all I was having was vegetables all day. So then I was getting progressively more drunk. Then I have a blank memory after a certain point. >> It happens. >> I had a great time. Don't get me wrong. >> You can't remember. >> But I don't remember. Yeah. And it's like >> the result of that was I had I normally take about 24 hours to get over a hangover. >> Yeah. >> It took me out for a week. >> Yeah. >> And I 100% know that it was alcohol poisoning% >> without anyone telling me anything. Right. >> And I felt awful. I felt foggy. I felt the pits. Probably depressed as well, I would say. >> Yeah, it happens. >> And I was in Dubai. >> Yeah. >> And I was, you know, in the sun. Why would I be depressed? So, I was basically walking around like a functional empty space, >> like a zombie, right? >> Yeah. >> So, then, um, that kind of made me feel like, okay, I need to go back to what I'd learned, you know, the year before. >> Yeah. >> And kind of relook at that. So that's my sort of turning point in thinking, okay, maybe I need to look into this a bit more. >> I stopped drinking for like a year now. >> How do you feel? >> I feel amazing. >> I have so much more clarity. >> Yeah. >> I can focus on things. And so when I was thinking, okay, what's what's my purpose? Is it still the same? Cuz I always check in with myself. >> It's evolved. >> It's evolved cuz I've evolved as a person. So then a friend of mine said, "Well, have you thought about doing content?" And now this person's very jenzy. It's such a jenzy thing to do. And I'm like, "I don't know if I'm ready to put myself out there like that. I don't know if it's really me. I don't know if it aligns with who I am." And they're like, "Yeah, you don't have to do you don't have to be put your face on there or whatever. Just, you know, educate." I'm like, "Yeah, you have a point, but it sparked something in me." And I thought, "If I don't want to do content like that, what else can I do?" And then I kind of did a bit of research and looked at different opportunities that I could look at um you know um sort of experiment with or look into or um maybe invest in you know loads of different avenues. And then now I I've decided that actually I'm going to start a brand which helps people to live a more toxin-free life. Yeah. >> So that's everything, >> you know, in terms of life cuz I've done it myself, >> you know. I've started to wear cotton, >> natural fibers. Even my mattress is natural fibers. >> It's because you don't realize, you know, like >> I've I've uh tried to avoid poisonous people and and you cuz you you walk away and you just feel like >> like literally there are one or two people that I know that will message me and I don't want to block them. Um, but I don't save their number. I delete the message. >> I'm not joking. I can feel >> the negativity and the poison coming through. And uh, you know, I've got this no [ __ ] policy in my business, but it's not easy cuz there are a few of them. Um, and I've one of the gifts that I gave myself a long time ago was I mean to be fair, people are rarely rude to me, but when they have been, >> I call them out on it. And and the reality is that it it tends to be >> on the phone. >> Yeah. >> And I say, "Let me let me come and meet you." >> And when I meet them, everything changes >> because I look at them like, "I could break your legs. >> You know it. I know it. Maybe we should have a different type of conversation." And then it changes. But I always say to my guys, if you actually hear me on the phone, >> right? Cuz I've I've worked for years to become a world-class salesperson, it's always just happiness. is charming and try and be charming, engaging, humorous, sincere. Um, you know, and I think in order to connect with people, you need to share some of your soul, >> what you've been through. And that's probably why you're a great coach, right? Because you've been through these different reincarnations of yourself. >> Exactly. >> You know, look how far we've come. It's mad, isn't it? >> It's mad. But the other funny thing is when I look back at high school, I was talking to Dwayne about this when he came over to my house. We were talking about different people and what they struggled with and um you know I was I always feel I was very confident and I don't know I think my mom and dad gave me that and I don't know if it was by design it was maybe we were you know I was the son of a builder so I was always physically doing thing I don't know what it was. >> Um but I'm just always grateful. >> I'm so grateful cuz I could still be stuck cleaning toilets. >> Yeah. >> I could still be on a building site, you know. And um the other thing I don't like is when people forget where they came from. >> Yeah. >> Right. And that that humility is gone. I think being humble is so important. >> And you do see it a lot. You see it a lot more out here as well. >> Yeah. I'm sure cuz everything's, you know, it's accentuated. Everything is >> everything. >> Yeah. It's all about >> But I would say it's it is changing. There's a lot more people >> out here who are in the wellness space that I've been >> Yeah. you know, um I've been around recently because of where I'm trying to, you know, do the side hustle to bring it out and, you know, like do that. Um I've been exposed to a lot more wellness people out here and they are trying to, you know, change people's perspective because people are getting burnt out here as well. Of course they are, >> you know. So it's like >> they know that the com, you know, it's it's difficult because it's almost like your responsibility like it was mine in my old role when I got burnt out. It's your responsibility to take care of yourself. >> Yeah. >> You know, for the selfare and you the company's never going to do that for you >> cuz the company is obviously >> doing what they need to do for their own best interest, right? >> But you have to do what you need to do for your own best interest. And and you know what? It's it's not even it's not even if you want to do it. If you want to survive, I think, right, you got to nurture your soul, your body. >> You got to rest. >> You have to. Cuz I I talk about energy management all the time. Cuz I'm always on the go, right? And I'm like full on. People say, "Well, how how do you get time to work out?" So, you have to make the time. >> And I said, "Don't get me wrong, there are days that I want to die and lie down in bed and do nothing." We all go through that, of course. >> Um, but you're right. Like, I I love a drink. I really I enjoy a drink, but I'm trying to slow it down. And like I went out the other night, I I spent a fortune. I took a client out. >> He wanted to pay. He's turning 60 in a couple of weeks, and he's my oldest client. It cost me over $2,000. >> Wow. >> And afterwards, I was like, "Shit." You I was chat GBT. So funny. I I put the receipt in. I said I actually voice me. I said, "Please itemize everything. This was the restaurant. Did I get stiff? let me know what it was cuz I thought maybe >> cuz I don't want to look everything. >> Yeah, of course. Of course. >> And they said, "No, this is a $750 bottle of wine. Most of the restaurants have a two to three times marker. Uh you happen to choose two of the more expensive cigars." >> And then you got four Negronis and they were over they were overpriced. >> Mhm. >> Right. So that's the only thing. And I was hoping I was so hoping that I got stiffed and they Yeah. go back say look this is wrong. And I just thought no man this is like but But the thing here is you can go and have something for like 10 Durhams. Yeah. >> As well. >> Exactly. >> So I wanted to like I said to G, let's go to a hole in the wall. I wanted to go to like a Pakistani hole in the wall or and eat some, you know, real food. >> Um but I think I think Dubai has got a bit of everything. >> It's got everything, >> you know. >> And that's a misconception. Everyone's like here saying, "Oh, it's super expensive and it's not real, etc." I was like, "No, I think it's what you make of it. It's who you are as a person." because I know every different version of me that's come here >> Yeah. >> has had a different experience. So, it's who you're coming here as. But also, >> you know what I like about Dubai is um >> it's very strategic. It's forward moving. >> You know, it's forward thinking >> and so >> England has its place. It's got steeped in history. >> Yeah. >> And I love it for that. And it's great in the summer because everyone's in a great mood. >> Yes. >> You know, so if I can help it, I'll go there every summer. Yeah. you know. Um, so for me, I feel like if you really want to be around people that are, you know, driven, thriving, cuz my my my advice to people is always be always have in your friend circle or people around you who are one step ahead of you. >> Yeah. >> At the same level as you and one step behind you, right? >> I love it >> because you need that in your circle because you can learn. so much from somebody that's the one step behind you, there will always be an exchange of value. >> Yeah. >> They were like I know when I was working with my graduates, >> they I would say they taught me a hell of a lot more. >> Yeah. >> Than what I gave them. >> Yeah. >> I gave them old school stuff. >> Yeah. They came at a new angle. >> Yeah. But they came at me with work smarter not harder cuz I was the one that was, you know, burning the candle. >> Yeah. >> You know, I was the one that I have to do this. But no, I enabled that behavior. >> Right. 100%. >> So if they I can't even blame my own company >> cuz I enabled that. I allowed them to, you know, take more hours from me. >> Well, if you if you really think about how mindset and understanding of mindset has changed since we we you know, 20 years ago, it's completely different. >> It is, >> you know, and I like I look at my son like I'm I'm 5'6 and a half short. He's 6'1. And you know that knowledge came from well my wife's quite tall but sleep. >> Mhm. >> Nutrition, you know, cuz I was never allowed to lie in. My dad would take the bed covers off me at 6:00 in the morning. I'd be freezing. He'd leave them halfway down the stairs. So you had to get up. >> Um so so everything is different. You know, I'm so happy for you. And you know, without sounding condescending, I'm proud of you. >> Thank you. >> And you know, I always remember you. You always cuz we live so close to each other always we'd see each other walking to and from school and stuff. You always carried yourself with so much grace and dignity. >> Thank you. >> You know >> that's nice to hear. >> Well, it was you did you know cuz there were Look, we we it's difficult cuz everyone's finding themselves in high school, >> right? And you could tell certain people were trying to fit in and probably there were different sides of them. If they were in this crowd, they would be like this. If they're in this crowd, they were this. >> And uh I I don't know. I always felt that people were struggling to find themselves. I don't know why. I always I always felt I knew who I was. >> Yeah. I think that definitely came across. You always came across as very confident. >> You knew who you were. You were always, you know, the loudest person in the room >> without sounding bad. >> Was I? >> I think it was the fact that you had a presence. >> You know, back then it would have been the loudest person in the room because everyone knew you were there. But it was the fact that you had a presence. >> Interesting. >> So yeah, I think even people that maybe you don't even remember probably remember you. >> Yeah, it is. It is interesting. I don't know. I just um Dwayne said this cuz Dwayne's 6'2 and he's not exactly quiet. >> Yeah. >> But again, I think my daughter, my son was asking him what was dad like in high school and um he said your dad always in his mind was the hero of his own story. And I started laughing. I said, "If you're not the hero of your own story, what are you?" Absolutely. Are you the villain? You know, you the >> you want to be seen, right? >> Yeah. And I just like, but what what I always thought was you you squeeze as much out of life as you want to. Like I don't know if you know this, I started so when I got into Whitmore, I had a really horrific knee injury. Um that kept me out of any any sport for about 6 months. >> Oh wow. >> Coming in from Norbury and I I you know, I cried when I found out cuz I couldn't go. We went we went on this everyone went on this PGL trip. I had to stay behind. >> Gosh, I remember this. Yeah. >> And so we got into Whitmore and then I for the you know the three terms for the first two terms I couldn't do any sports and everyone thought I was this wimp >> and then I would I'd have to sit with the girls and then gradually I was allowed to play net with the girls. >> That's where it started in net. >> It's where it all started. Actually it started when I was five I think. I remember fancying girls when I was five and then I set up the drama club and everyone thought all the guys were taking the mitt and I said no I like acting and they didn't realize I was the only guy >> and all the girls. >> Yeah. >> And then >> who's winning? >> I was winning. I was definitely winning. But then the weird thing is I was very competitive cuz I I wanted to be the best athlete in school. I wanted to be the fastest and strongest and um and that's what I love about Kukai because I always thought I was the I was the best athlete in the terms I was the fastest in school. You can't really prove you were the strongest. But I looked someone said, "Oh, you got a great physique." And I and then I looked at Can I said the next day and I said, "No, I don't." Cuz that guy was in ridiculous shape >> always. >> Always. And um but what I loved about him and I learned I learned this from him was cuz I you can be confident without being arrogant >> and he was he was very humble. >> Mhm. >> And I just learned that and I just I always embrace people that were really good at things cuz I a lot of people are threatened by that and you know like in my mind like you said about there are lots of coaches. There's a place for everyone. >> Absolutely. >> Right. And and I really believe that a rising tide raises all chips, you know, and if you if you meet other like-minded people and you know, like if I meet you and you're better than me at this and I say, "Wow, you know, how do I how you know, can you share with me? How do I build that into my game or you know, or you you teach me how to cook a great, you know, chicken pala, maybe not now if you're vegetarian, whatever it is, right?" >> But you you and a lot of people don't do that. >> Yeah. They don't >> they don't, right? And there were there are people out there like that. And you know, >> I've been very fortunate to only meet >> 99% of genuine people out here. >> Wow. >> So, everyone I've met and and the reason why I say it is because I feel like the disingenuous people, they just kind of peter away. >> And I think it's because of the way that I view >> people and what I attract. >> Yeah. And I know that if I am like that, >> I will attract a magnet for that energy. >> So, and that's why I feel like anyone that is disingenuous will end up just petering away. And that's absolutely fine, but I don't want that in my energy. >> I love that. >> And I'm like you. I'm I'm I always thought I was an extrovert, >> but in fact, I've definitely been an introverted extrovert. >> So, they're very similar when you've done one of those tests that tell you what what personality type you are. >> Yeah. >> They're both the same pretty much. But I'm more introvert just slightly. >> Yeah. >> So I know that I'm the same as you is like if I've done a day of peopleing. >> Yeah. >> I need a a few hours of >> zero just boom. >> Don't talk to me. >> You know, literally I'm like a mute. So when I get a call from my family or whatever, they're like, "Are you okay?" Cuz I'm a little bit throaty. Like you know, like I've got like a horse. >> Yeah. >> Like sound. I was like, "I've just not spoken to anyone for like few hours." >> Yeah. >> But I just need that to recharge. It's funny with with Galam cuz he's he he only started working with me in January and this is this is new. I've hired someone full-time to do this. I've hired a full-time graphics motions guy and before that Isa who's my head of research. It's not his job but he would do all the podcasts. >> And so he's now we're staying in this apartment together and I just said I just need to lie down for 20 minutes because like it came back I had seven meetings and it was like >> takes it out of you. I just I just I just need to lie down and people don't see it and people don't talk about it, right? And um you know even if it's only 20 minutes and the thing is I'll go and lie down, close my eyes. I'm getting old now, right? So I need a little So this is crazy. So next September I turned 50, >> right? >> My son will be turning 21 next November. >> My daughter will have turned 18 and the youngest one will be 12 and and in Singapore she's got to do 11 plus like >> and it's like where the hell does the time go? Um, but I'd love for one day for you to meet my wife because she's an amazing woman. >> She sounds it. >> We're completely the opposite. She's a fullbrite scholar. She's got a PhD from Yale. I'm always very proud of it. I sometimes I, you know, so we're coming up to this is our 20th year wedding anniversary this summer. >> So I've arranged for the five of us to go to the US and I've rented like a a ranch in Jackson Hall, Wyoming. >> Oh, amazing. >> With the Grand Tetons in the background. just the five of us are going to renew our vows. And I just said to her, it's kind of cool that, you know, when we got married, which was in Bali 20 years ago, it was like it was just us and now there's there's five of us, >> you know, >> that's pretty amazing. >> Yeah. And I just thought it would be very romantic. It would be. But what's funny about her, I think mainly cuz she was primarily raised by a dad, she thinks a little bit more like a man. >> Yeah. >> And um and I like she's not romantic. I'm romantic. She's not. And it's like yin and yang. So I I'll write to I'll say I'll WhatsApp. I'll say, "Dear Mrs. Quinn, you're cordially invited to romantic dinner with your very sexy, extremely handsome husband. Please RSVP by 6:00." And she never gets back. If you don't RSVP, someone else will. And I we just kind of keep the banter going. Do you know what I mean? >> I love that. >> Yeah. And it's >> It's rare, though, that you have >> people that have been married for that long. I'm I'm I feel quite privileged to to know that I've got people around me that have been in long-term relationships. >> And yes, I know it's hard work cuz I hear it all right. >> I'm a sounding board for a lot of people. >> At least 50% of the people that I know got divorced. >> And I always say the other the other 50% at least half of them want to get divorced, >> you know. >> And you got the small percentage who >> actually see the work that goes into it as something that is just part of life. It's just two different personalities, two different influences, generational, you know, everything that's been influenced by your life. You're getting together, but you're actually, like you say, ying and yang, >> but you need that. You need polarity. >> You need that. And I think what's funny with her is is um I mean, we are the opposite in so many ways. >> And um like she she cringes a lot of of like why you post that thing, you working out again, you know, why you doing that? And I said, "That's who I am, baby. >> I'm doing it for the people. >> You know, all my 600 followers, half of them are my kids friends, but but she she goes, "Yeah, but you know, it looks like you're showing off." And I said, "If I was a painter and I showed my painting, would I be showing off?" I said, "I've done sports from a very young age." And I said, "You don't want to believe this, Hunt, but a lot of people >> uh will have written to me and I've inspired them." And you know, like during co I helped 10 women. I'm really proud of this. 10 women, some of them family members had they didn't know this. They privately wrote to me and said, "Could you help me with my weight loss?" Yeah. >> And I said, "I'm not an expert. I don't, you know, I I know about it, but >> and and they couldn't afford to do it." And cuz they trusted me. And I said, "Well, if if you want to do this, >> you're going to have to weigh yourself. You're going to have to share your weight with me, and I'll create a plan for you." And then I remember I again, they didn't know each other. Two of them did, but I didn't let them know. >> Yeah. And I helped 10 women in four weeks lose 231 pounds. >> Wow. >> And I I measured it and I just thought this is amazing. And and I said, "Look, the only thing has got to be sustainable." And I've I've got a I I've got a lovehate relationship with food. So for me, it's not alcohol, it's food. I eat I want to eat crisps and chocolates and everything in between. And I And if I'm depressed, I go and smash some food. Yeah. >> Right. It is what it is, you know? It is what it is. But >> I just said, "It's got to be sustainable." Mh. >> Then my mom goes to me cuz she's Chinese. She goes, >> "Why are you doing this? >> You're not making any money from us. It's not about the money." Cuz I've always been like, I want to help people. And in my career, I've always come, you know, of course I want to make money, but I've always come to the conclusion if you do good things, >> the money will come. >> Yeah. >> You know, I believe in karma. I believe in karma. And I don't do things I like. So, so my ex- business partner Kush, who's Muslim, he used to say to me, you should give that beggar some money. And I said, "Why?" And he said, "It could be an angel in disguise. They could be assessing you." And I said, "Mate, you you've already failed the test." He goes, "What do you mean?" I said, "You're doing it for the wrong reasons. You're doing it so you should be helping that brother out because he needs some help." >> Yeah. >> And then he he he's a contrarian. So he actually said, "Okay, yeah, that's a good point." So I said, "I do good things for the right reasons or I try to." Do you know what I mean? Um, >> but Jess, it's been a pleasure. How do you find the experience? It was it was interesting. It was different. I didn't think it would I had no idea because you obviously see a podcast but you don't know what goes into it. So, it was very easy. >> It was relaxed. >> Very relaxed. Yeah. >> Good. Good. >> Thanks, babe. I appreciate it. >> Well done. >> Thank you.

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